Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Lone Man

Chris here. Sarah and Lily are going out of town tomorrow for a trip to Boston, Portland Maine, and finally Woodstock Vermont. The trip will be ten days long and since I have a job that I don't want to get fired from I will be here working. This brings up the concern shared by many that I will not be able to take care of myself and that Sarah will most likely come home to something like this:

But I think I will be fine. I did live as a bachelor until I was 28. I think I can handle 10 days without too many incidents. So, what will my life consist of without Sarah here to remind me to shower, brush my teeth, mow the lawn, go to church etc? Well, I plan on watching all the movies Sarah won't let me watch when she is around. Currently, the next 10 movies I have in my netflix queue have "kung fu", "shaolin monks" or "ninja" in the title. All of the movies will have some scene that will basically be some play on this:

So I pretty much have my nights taken care of. But man can not live my violence alone, what will I eat? Knowing this day was coming for at least a month I have searched blogs, books and best of lists to find the perfect food for by foray back into bachelorhood.

Yes, that is a doughnut bacon burger. And I plan on eating at least 5 while Sarah is away. Some of you may be saying to yourself "But Chris, won't that make you fat?" Well duh.

I will keep you all updated while Sarah is away on how my goals of not setting the house on fire, watching Kung Fu movies and eating myself into an early grave go. Until then, all the best.


Anonymous said...

A sad and lonely post. Tears ran down my cheeks as I ate an onion sandwich, thinking of poor Chris all by himself.
dad, AKA Old Man

Sally said...

Wow, that is one ugly burger. Good luck as a lone man.